The never ending bio
My name is Chris Real. Has been since 2003. Don't remember what it was before that... something less catchy I'm sure. Sometimes I write it "Christofur Real", which is even more zany and madcap. I play by my own rules.
I also play guitar. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I do both at the same time, so it's not a lie when it says "excellent multitasker" on my resume.
I've had a pretty decent career in music considering I've lived almost my entire life in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. (In the interest of full disclosure, that statement is equivalent to claiming I'd had a decent career in porn despite being born a eunuch)
Still... I just did some quick math, and I estimate I've played to about 750,000 faces, and I've rocked them... 75-80% of them all. Okay, the vast majority of those faces I'm counting are repeats... but sometimes people get a new haircut, forget to shave, have pink eye, a black eye, bags under their eyes after riding the red eye... and is a familiar face really ever that familiar? 750,000.
Oh, and my first band of any significance released a debut record that went PLATINUM... in Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan has about a million people... we sold about 3,000 copies in the province. .3%. Sooooo, basically the same percentage of the population a platinum record in the US requires. Platinum.
The names of the bands I've been in, in chronological order:
Lucid
Rattlesnake
The Velcros
Sour Planet
Eddie and the Crewcuts
-another wave-
Livid Sun
One Night Stand
B!LF
Bazooka Joe
SuperJuice
The FLICKERS
Rhymes With Fun
The Real Canadian Threetles
D'Playground
Urban Outlaws
Whatever
I'm sure I'm forgetting some... but yeah.
I'm also a huge CFL football fan. Go Riders. Believe.
I also believe in metaphysical solipsism, because everyone else in the world has forced me to.
Also, every human being I've ever held in reverence, has fallen.
To be cont
My name is Chris Real. Has been since 2003. Don't remember what it was before that... something less catchy I'm sure. Sometimes I write it "Christofur Real", which is even more zany and madcap. I play by my own rules.
I also play guitar. Sometimes I sing. Sometimes I do both at the same time, so it's not a lie when it says "excellent multitasker" on my resume.
I've had a pretty decent career in music considering I've lived almost my entire life in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan. (In the interest of full disclosure, that statement is equivalent to claiming I'd had a decent career in porn despite being born a eunuch)
Still... I just did some quick math, and I estimate I've played to about 750,000 faces, and I've rocked them... 75-80% of them all. Okay, the vast majority of those faces I'm counting are repeats... but sometimes people get a new haircut, forget to shave, have pink eye, a black eye, bags under their eyes after riding the red eye... and is a familiar face really ever that familiar? 750,000.
Oh, and my first band of any significance released a debut record that went PLATINUM... in Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan has about a million people... we sold about 3,000 copies in the province. .3%. Sooooo, basically the same percentage of the population a platinum record in the US requires. Platinum.
The names of the bands I've been in, in chronological order:
Lucid
Rattlesnake
The Velcros
Sour Planet
Eddie and the Crewcuts
-another wave-
Livid Sun
One Night Stand
B!LF
Bazooka Joe
SuperJuice
The FLICKERS
Rhymes With Fun
The Real Canadian Threetles
D'Playground
Urban Outlaws
Whatever
I'm sure I'm forgetting some... but yeah.
I'm also a huge CFL football fan. Go Riders. Believe.
I also believe in metaphysical solipsism, because everyone else in the world has forced me to.
Also, every human being I've ever held in reverence, has fallen.
To be cont